The Comedy Stylings Of George Lucas

What you are about to read is a transcription of a secretly made audio recording; it captures the comments made during a meeting that happened at some point during November 2000. The meeting was between George Lucas and a representative of one of the in-house Lucasfilm game developers working on Star Wars: Super Bombad Racing for the Playstation 2.

UNKNOWN DEV: ...And this is what the character select screen looks like.
GEORGE LUCAS: Heh. Heh heh! That’s like, uh, pretty funny.
UD: Mm.
GL: I like how… (chuckles) they’ve all got big heads! That’s pretty funny. Real humorful.
UD: Yes, absolutely.
GL: You've also used jizz here, that's neat.
UD: What?!... Oh! Oh, yeah.
GL: Yeah, really neat. I see how you, uh, implemented Jar Jar having his tongue stick out when you select him! Heh heh.
UD: Yes.
GL: Real funny.
UD: So, as you can see, we can select these characters… you’ve got Darth Maul, Jar Jar of course, Yoda –
GL: I wanna make a suggestion – (chuckles)
UD: Yes, Mr Lucas?
GL: How about... (pauses) …we, uh, heh! Have Yoda’s model be upside down? That would be funny.
UD: Uh, well –
GL: I think it would be pretty funny, you know, it would add a nice little bonus sorta... thing to the game, you know?
UD: Right...
GL: The player’s going through the characters, and he’ll already be laughing at all the funny stuff to begin with, you know: “Oh, Jar Jar’s tongue is sticking out!”. You know? And, uh... then they notice Yoda’s upside down! Heh! It would be, you know, just – “Oh man, I’m in for a crazy time!”
UD: Right, right, right... My only –
GL: Ha ha! It would be just, you know... anything can happen in this game!
UD: Yeah.
GL: Just craziness!
UD: Yes. My only concern about that, Mr Lucas, is that Yoda’s ears – because we’ve scaled up the heads on all these models – it’s going to mean that Yoda’s ears may poke through the bottom of the pod racer.

(Pause)

GL: Ahhh. Darn. I didn’t think of that.
UD: So, you know...
GL: Well, tell you what. Save out a version of that model with Yoda upside down, make an alternate build, we’ll review it in a month’s time, at the final review.
UD: OK, Mr Lucas.
GL: One thing I also wanna suggest at this stage, uh, to go during the start of this... how about we have something that’s like the start of that movie, “Airplane”?
UD: Uh...
GL: You know “Airplane”? You seen it?
UD: I have, Mr Lucas, it’s great. Great movie.
GL: Well, you know how it starts off like Jaws, with the music? And instead of a shark’s fin, it’s the tail of an airplane?
UD: Yep.
GL: And then, suddenly the actual airplane itself sort of leaps out the clouds like a monster, as if the clouds were the sea?
UD: Yeah, I’ve seen the movie.
GL: Yeah. Well, how about something like that?
UD: Okay, sure. GL: You know, something like the start of “Airplane!”, but more focused on the Star Wars universe.
UD: So... basically that scene, but with, say, the Millennium Falcon instead?
GL: Well, no. I was thinking more along the lines of... something like that, but different.
UD: Different.
GL: Yeah. Something just like that scene, but instead of an airplane going through the clouds, and instead of the Jaws theme, and instead of it leaping out of the clouds, it's something like all of that... but with stuff that’s completely different.
UD: So, just something funny happening.
GL: Yeah, it would be real cool. (Chuckles) It’d be like, “Wow! This is a crazy game!”
UD: Right, right... just something funny happening.
GL: So that needs to be done.
UD: Absolutely, Mr Lucas.
GL: Something else I want to bring up... uh, this technically isn’t your concern, but I’m kinda scouting around for opinions here. I’ve been talking with Marketing about this game along with everything else, and they’re not that keen on one aspect of something I would like to have, and it’s really a small thing...
UD: Okay.
GL: ...What I think would be really good, if at the top of the ads and the box, we have a little line right at the top, just saying “From The Mind Of George Lucas”. Because I think that would be really good. It’d be witty.
UD: Mm.
GL: It’d be, I can imagine the player walking up to the box in the game store, or seeing the ad in a magazine, and just thinking to themselves, “Wow, not only is this going to be funny, but it’s going to be witty as well”.
UD: Right.
GL: Because when you see something like that, it’s like, these guys really know what they’re doing, it’s going to be witty and funny, and George Lucas is in charge, so it’s an adventure, but a crazy adventure, where basically anything can happen. It’s gonna be wild, but very clever as well.
UD: I mean, I can imagine that working, absolutely.
GL: Right! Right. But Marketing aren’t too sure, I don’t know, maybe they don’t like things that are witty. They say it wouldn't fit. But ultimately, if I don’t manage to get this on the game box, I’m sure I can re-purpose it for something else.
UD: Absolutely, Mr Lucas. So... I think now I can show you the rest of the game –
GL: One other thing, actually... are there going to be any collisions in this game?
UD: Uh... yeah, it’s a kart racing game, so...
GL: Because I’d like to suggest something here – I know time is starting to get tight, but I think this is something that could be added without too much trouble.
UD: Go right ahead, sir.
GL: It would be good, I think, if when anything hits anything else, there’s this Batman type of thing happening... like the old Adam West Batman TV series, you remember that?
UD: Yes...
GL: It’d be like, a pod racer hits, I don’t know, Jar Jar with his tongue out - (breaks off to giggle for a bit)
UD: Mm.
GL: ...And, uh, heh! Uh, when something gets hit, you get this huge, full-screen Batman style “POW!” effect, taking up the whole screen for a second or two, only instead of saying “POW!” it says “OOPS!”.
UD: Okay...
GL: That would be pretty cool. Very funny.
UD: Yes.
GL: I can imagine the player thinking, “Oh my god, this is nuts!”
UD: Right. Well, I... (long pause) I guess, uh, we can - might be able do that, yes. So, just like the Batman show...
GL: Yeah.
UD: So I’m guessing you’ll want us to take some screenshots from some episodes of that, to emulate the lettering –
GL: Uh, actually, no, there’s one thing I’m envisaging – I’m glad you brought that up, because I want to have the Batman thing, but with a different font.
UD: Okay.
GL: If we could have that sorta... it’s an old font, and it was pretty popular, but you don’t get it a whole lot nowadays. But I think it would be perfect for this.
UD: Okay.
GL: That sort of, uh... it’s elongated, and it has blocks at the top and bottom, but only sometimes.

(Pause)

UD: I...
GL: You know, there’s blocks, but not on some letters. Not on the O’s. On the bottom of the Q’s, I think. At least, I think on the Q’s, and if it is, it’s only on the corners. One corner.
UD: Okay, I... can go through some old Letraset catalogs and –
GL: You know, it was that one that was used in all the movies with the horses.
UD: I’m, uh... yeah, I guess I think I... maybe know what you mean, but I'm a little unclear.
GL: There were horses, and then you’d get some guy with a gun, and they’d stick up a bank or something, and then they’d get away, and then you’d see a poster for their arrest: “Wanted, Dead Or Alive”.
UD: ...Westerns?
GL: Yeah!
UD: The font you’d see on the “Wanted: Dead Or Alive” posters?
GL: Yeah! Yeah, that’s it.
UD: I mean, sure, we can do that. But of course, we’re rapidly approaching crunch time, and I don’t know whether we can get together, uh, the code required before we need to ship, so it might be...
GL: Well, sure, we’ll see what you can do. If we need to drop it, we’ll drop it for the Playstation, but I really want to implement it for... there’s a Mac version coming out, isn’t there?
UD: Yes, Mr Lucas.
GL: We can put it in there once we’ve got the Playstation one out. And all the other versions.
UD: Absolutely, Mr Lucas.

  (If it’s not clear, I must point out that everything written above was made up by me. You can never be too careful these days.)

 

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